May 4, 2009:
Around 11am local time, Ataturk International Airport, Istanbul
Random Indian co-passenger while getting off the plane: "Its so bloody cold here!"
Turkish co-passenger in reply: "Are you kidding? Its only 15 degrees C!"
15 degrees???!!! I swear it was colder. Probably the Turkish guys don't know how to read temperatures. That was my first experience of "normalcy" in Europe. 10 more weeks in this place, only god could help me.
4pm, Barajas International Airport, Madrid
After flying for 8 hours and a three hour stop over in Istanbul, I finally landed in Madrid. No one mugged me or tore my visa pages in Mumbai, as I had been warned. I was startled to find the exit of the airport deserted. Even Mangalore Airport will have more people at any given time waiting at the exit. Only a really tall girl and a guy with really long hair were there and they held up one colourful paper with my name written on it.
Foreign. Or rather the joy of being in foreign. I had been to Thailand before, but that doesn't count as foreign does it? Yes we do have big buildings, automatically opening doors, sprawling malls and modern cars in India too. So how would foreign or foreign-like be described by an Indian? I have drafted up a definition below, if anyone has got something better in mind, let me know:
Any place that is clean, decked up with modern architecture and technology and where pretty girls wear short dresses.
The tall girl: "Hello Archeeeet! Welcome to Madrid."
Me [struggling to remember the minuscle spanish I had learnt]
Tall girl
Me [struggling to grasp what the girl had said, catching only the last word]
Tall girl
After the introductions, we headed to the lab. In the car, my professor called.
Prof : "Hello Archeeey! Welcome to Madrid! Everything it is okay?"
Me [totally forgetting what the girl had taught me 10 minutes ago] : "Hola sir! Gracias. Everything is okay. Como esta usted?"
Prof : "I'm very good. You speak spanish?"
Me
Prof : "No problem. In one week you'll speak fluently. In the laboratory we only speak Spanish."
The joy of being in foreign soon turned into fear. My friends in the front of the car were speaking Spanish at a speed that would Usain Bolt to shame. I could barely grasp a single word. Back home, I used to criticize a couple of friends who spoke really fast. Well I could at least understand what they were saying.
Along the way we saw the Valdebebas, the training ground of Real Madrid. Estadio Alfredo di Stéfano where Castilla, the Real Madrid B team plays made the Chinnaswamy stadium look small. The sight sure did help me settle a few nerves: I was at the city of my dreams, where football is more than just a sport.
No wonder the long haired guy said: "When you speak English, we can all understand. When the English people speak, we cannot."
7.30 pm, Príncipe Pio, Madrid
"I want to buy a SIM card."
Shopkeeper
"Do you speak English?"
Shopkeeper 1 [using gestures to call buddy]
Shopkeeper 2 [nodding his head with confidence]
"I want to buy a SIM card. Vodafone please."
"We have Vodafone." [takes out a mobile phone]
Me
I looked at the tall girl, she was confused as well. I took out my phone and showed him what I meant by a SIM card. And to make the feeling more weird, the sun was still shining brightly. at 7.30 pm! This was new to me.
This was Príncipe Pio, one of the central shopping districts of Madrid. Remember, when someone in Madrid says they know English, speak slowly, very slowly, so that they understand. Even if they sing those complicated lyrics of that Lady Gaga song off the radio perfectly, doesn't mean they can understand everything you say.
Takes out those normal envelopes containing SIM cards " Here you are."
"What are the tariffs?"
"What?"
"Call charges? I want to make and receive phone calls to India."
"€ 1.00 per minute."
Me
Shopkeeper: "No free."
"Then how much."
"€ 1.00 per minute."
"Even for incoming? For receiving phone calls from India?"
"Yes. I think so."
"Can you tell me the exact figure?"
"I don't know. You can see the website."
"But you're sure I have to pay some one from India calls me on this phone?"
"Yes.....I think so."
There was no way in bloody hell I was going to pay €1.00 (to re-iterate, Rs. 65) per minute when my parents would call. At least not at that very moment. I thought I had to pay for food at € 5-10 per day for the next 70 days. And I had just a little bit more, for maybe to see the Bernabeu. I came all the way from 8848 km away and I was going to go to the Bernabeu at all costs, even for a stadium tour, if not a match.
The same story continued in the other two stores in the complex. Shopkeepers having no clue about tariffs and passers-by wondering what this guiri wanted that. Why can't you just speak Spanish? thats what they seemed to be saying.
Me, to the tall girl : "Is there a STD booth here?"
"I think there is one outside."
There was one outside. But there seemed no slot to put cash. My international calling card from Istanbul didn't seem to work.
"Where can I get a calling card for this phone?"
"I think over there. But the shop is closed."
Just great. It is just 8. Shops are closed. The sun was still shining brightly.
"Lets go to the Residencia. Gracias"
9pm, Residencia Joaquin Blume
"Perdona. Where can I get water?"
Very friendly fat gentleman behind the recoptinist desk, smiling: "What is water?"
Yes. The sun was still out.







Twenty years on, Bart is still eight, Lisa still six, Maggie still can’t talk and Homer still does not have any problems despite drinking that huge amount of beer for over twenty years. He is still, bald, fat and stupid and everybody loves Homer.


